Intentionality — The Art of Choosing What Truly Matters
- Sarah Ozol Shore
- Oct 28
- 4 min read
Feeling pulled in too many directions? Learn how intentionality restores focus, emotional balance, and executive control by aligning your nervous system with what truly matters.
Introduction: Why “Doing It All” Isn’t the Goal
Many women wake up already behind — mentally running through lists, messages, and expectations before their feet hit the floor. The day becomes a series of reactions rather than choices.
Intentionality asks something radical:
What if focus and composure aren’t about doing more — but doing what actually matters?
When your nervous system is calm, your executive brain can discern priorities. When it’s flooded, everything feels equally urgent. The art of intentionality lies in learning to pause long enough to choose, instead of being carried by the current.
The Neuroscience of Choice
The prefrontal cortex (PFC) governs intentionality — it’s the brain’s planning and prioritization center. But under chronic stress or emotional overload, the amygdala (your internal alarm system) hijacks attention, narrowing focus to immediate relief.
That’s why under pressure you might:
React impulsively (“Just say yes and deal later”).
Lose track of goals or values.
Feel scattered, rushing without direction.
Intentionality depends on state regulation. You can’t think clearly when your body is braced for threat. Calm physiology = clear executive function.
Step 1: Pause Before You Prioritize
When everything feels urgent, your first task isn’t to decide — it’s to pause. That moment of stillness re-engages the prefrontal cortex and widens perspective.
Try this:
Take one full breath cycle (inhale for 4, exhale for 6).
Drop your shoulders.
Ask: “What actually needs my presence right now?”
You’ll be surprised how much clarity arrives in those ten seconds.
Step 2: Anchor in Core Values
Intentionality means aligning action with meaning. When you’re unclear about what matters, you default to urgency.
Clarify your anchors:
List 3 core values (e.g., honesty, creativity, connection).
For each, write one daily behavior that honors it.
Example:
Values act like a compass when the path feels chaotic.
Step 3: The “One Thing” Method
Our nervous system can only hold a few priorities at once. Multitasking fragments attention and signals threat (“too much, too fast”).
Simplify focus:
Identify one meaningful task per domain (home, work, self).
Label it your “non-negotiable” for the day.
Let everything else be optional.
This quiets internal noise and creates achievable wins — reinforcing trust in yourself.
Step 4: Create Intentional Transitions
Intentionality isn’t only about what you do, but how you move between things. Rapid transitions without reset keep your nervous system in a low-level state of activation.
Between activities, practice micro-closures:
Take one slow exhale.
Stretch or look away from screens.
Briefly note: “This task is complete; I’m shifting now.”
That single act re-establishes composure and prepares your brain for the next focus point.
Step 5: Protect Your Attention Like Energy
Attention is a finite resource — one that drains faster under stress. Every notification, conversation, or internal worry costs cognitive bandwidth.
Build “attention hygiene” habits:
Mute or batch notifications during deep work.
Keep open browser tabs below five.
Check messages in intentional blocks rather than reactively.
Your attention is sacred. Every boundary around it is a form of nervous system care.
Step 6: Replace Perfectionism with Presence
Perfectionism masquerades as intentionality — but its energy is fear, not focus. When you notice yourself striving for the flawless version of a task, pause and ask:
“Would good enough move me closer to calm?”
Intentionality is about impact, not image. Presence — doing something fully and authentically — is far more powerful than doing it perfectly.
Step 7: Align Your Schedule With Your Nervous System
Your brain’s energy naturally rises and dips throughout the day. Trying to override that rhythm leads to burnout and self-blame.
Map your energy curve:
Notice when you feel alert, foggy, creative, or tired.
Schedule high-focus tasks during peak hours.
Use low-energy periods for routine or restorative tasks.
This approach respects your biology instead of fighting it — the essence of sustainable focus.
Step 8: Use the “Intentional Start and Stop” Ritual
Most women operate without defined beginnings or endings, which keeps the nervous system in constant vigilance.
Try bookending your day:
Start: Ground, breathe, set one clear intention.
End: Reflect, release tension, name one thing you’re grateful for.
These rituals train your body to trust the day’s rhythm — work, rest, reset, repeat.
Step 9: The Executive Function Triangle
Intentional living relies on three executive skills working together:
When all three are supported by regulation, your mind becomes both steady and adaptable — the ideal state for intentionality.
Step 10: Redefine Success as Alignment
At the end of the day, ask:
Did I live in alignment with what matters most?
Did I honor my body’s rhythm?
Did I choose presence over pressure?
Intentionality isn’t a destination. It’s a rhythm — one that invites focus, calm, and meaning back into everyday life.
Reflection Practice: A Week of Aligned Choices
Each evening, jot down:
One intentional choice you made today
What nervous system state you were in (calm, anxious, tired, energized)
How that choice felt in your body afterward
After seven days, look for patterns. You’ll begin to see that alignment feels peaceful — not perfect.
Closing Thought
Intentionality is the quiet rebellion against overwhelm. It’s choosing depth over speed, meaning over motion, and presence over perfection.
Every time you pause to decide rather than react, you reclaim a piece of yourself — your focus, your rhythm, your freedom.
That’s where composure lives: in the space between impulse and intention.
Comments